There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
