Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
