If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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