i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We got so high we made milksteak
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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