his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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