you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
