So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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