Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Let's get the cat blown out
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
