a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
