i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
