Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Did I show you my penis last night?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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