MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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