You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
