dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
