Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
