He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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