There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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