I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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