I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
