Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
