I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
