I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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