at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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