my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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