I wish you could order shots online.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
