Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Anonymous012 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(250): View more from British Columbia

note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...

Fav 55 1070 5904
share tweet
(763): View more from Minnesota

My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.

Fav 13 920 5738
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived

Fav 18 1098 7638
share tweet
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??

(713): View more from Texas

Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.

Fav 44 5434 9847
share tweet
(205): View more from Alabama

I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.

Fav 9 1344 2643
share tweet
(781): View more from Massachusetts

She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.

Fav 11 3105 1800
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(480): View more from Arizona

This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.

Fav 9 1620 1973
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(313): View more from Michigan

I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.

Fav 1 97 18
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(305): View more from Florida

where are my eyebrows?

Fav 0 9 37
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT