Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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