WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
