so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she told me i tasted like america
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
