I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The convent might be a nice break from real life
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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