Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
