Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
