the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
