elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
