she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
