I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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