Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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