Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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