i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
