i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
