I can't breathe out the right side of my face
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
