haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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