Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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