Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
