that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
