Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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