did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
