and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
