is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
