I am puke
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
