im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
They took my balls.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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