his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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